Sunday, July 17, 2011

Here is an excerpt from Beside the Empty Cradle: Finding Peace in Childlessness.

The queasy mornings started the day my doctor went of vacation. Two pink lines put me on cloud nine, but I waited to tell John. I didn’t want to hurt him again. I knew this time would be different. The queasy mornings were a welcome addition to my day. I woke up hoping to feel nauseated. A checklist of symptoms grew in my mind.

Lack of energy – check.

Tiny sensations in my belly – check.

Nausea – check.

A new chapter in our life was growing in me. It was all I could do to contain my excitement until I could see my Doctor. His two-week vacation dragged on while my anticipation grew.

I was scheduled to be his first appointment when he returned from Greece. Until then, I kept my pink-lined-stick in a zip lock bag stashed in my top dresser drawer. I could hardly wait to show him, and let his tests confirm what I already knew.

I didn’t have much energy all day, but I had decided that would be normal for the next several months. After dinner, John went to relax in his recliner and I went into my office to work on an article.

There was no sudden movement, no cramping. Warmth on my legs sent me dashing to the bathroom. It was 7 feet from my desk, but by the time I reached the tile floor there was already a trail of blood on the carpet. It would not stop; I was loosing too much blood. Dizzy and scared I yelled for John.

In the emergency room the hemorrhaging continued. A negative pregnancy test ruled out my self-diagnosed miscarriage. The list of possibilities was short, but inconclusive, until the doctors could stop the bleeding. My hemoglobin was dangerously low, less than seven. The nurse couldn’t keep the warm blankets coming fast enough.
To read more about the diagnosis that changed our lives forever and the hope we found through faith in Christ, follow this blog and order your copy of our book, Beside the Empty Cradle, from your favorite Christian bookstore, Amazon or by requesting more information in the comments section of this post today. 

To bring Pamela to your infertility support group, women's event or church service email (info @ You will need to remove the brackets and the spaces on either side of the @ sign for the email address to work...unfortunately to avoid automated crawlers and spiders we must post it this way.

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